Back to Merch Supply ArchiveSPECIMEN // SPEC-TEE-004
SPEC: 04-TRUTH-TABLETHERMAL FACTS
COLOR IS A LIE • TIME IS ESTIMATE
PROTEINUSDA SAFECHEF PULL
RIBEYE / NY STRIP145°F130°F
PORK CHOP160°F145°F
CHICKEN THIGH165°F175°F (JUICY)
INTERNAL PROBE IS THE ONLY TRUTH
SPEC-TEE-004
THERMODYNAMIC FACT
Single specimen geometry
HARDWARE // UNIFORM SPEC
The Truth Table Heavyweight Tee
Color is a Lie. Time is an Estimate.
$34.00 USD
Poke tests are superstition. Cutting into a steak to check color drains the juices. The probe thermometer is the only objective reality in the universe.
OPERATIONAL DIRECTIVE
“Stop guessing. Use a thermometer.”
COLOR PALETTE:Ink Black
DIMENSION / SIZING:
1
✓ Ships in 100% Kraft Mailers✓ Free Domestic Shipping > $60
Technical Datasheet Specifications
SKU IDENTIFIERSPEC-TEE-004
FABRIC100% Combed Ring-Spun Cotton
WEIGHT6.5 oz / 220 GSM
ADDITIONAL GEAR
Related Culinary Specimens
SPEC-TEE-016
NEW // TOP SELLER
Optical Sensor // Off (±2°F Hairy Hand Tolerance)
Why spend $40 on an infrared thermometer when dad can hover his hairy hand 3 inches above a 12-inch cast iron skillet and tell you it’s exactly 425°F from the heat radiating off his knuckles.
SPEC NOTE: ““I can feel it’s 425°F through my knuckles. Put the steak down.””
COLOR:
SIZE:
SPEC-TEE-017
SMOKER DISCIPLINE
Status: Thermal Loss in Progress // Step Away From the Lid
Every time someone opens the smoker lid “just to check on the bark”, 45 minutes is added to the brisket timeline and 15 degrees of convection heat vanishes into the yard. Step away from the lid.
SPEC NOTE: ““If you’re lookin’, you ain’t cookin’. Step away from the lid, Greg.””
COLOR:
SIZE:
SPEC-TEE-018
CRISIS ALERT
Domestic Incident Warning // Investigation Underway
A tactical emergency warning label for when someone leaves a 1974 Griswold skillet soaking in the sink with blue Dawn dish soap. Polymerized oil seasoning compromised. Domestic tribunal convening immediately.
SPEC NOTE: ““Who used dish soap on the skillet? We are conducting a domestic investigation.””
COLOR:
SIZE: